DVD Review: The Human Tornado (1976) Print
Written by The Projectionist   
Wednesday, 21 September 2011 21:35

human tornado poster 01 human tornado poster 01The Human Tornado is a sequel to the amazingly successful 1975 film "Dolemite". Rudy Ray Moore took the money he made from Dolemite and poured it into The Human Tornado.

I've often said that Dolemite was the reason for the phrase "What the Fuck?". Well, The Human Tornado is the reason they shortened the phrase to "WTF?". Saying the entire sentence just becomes a chore for as many times as you'll be uttering it while watching this drive-in blaxplotation "classic".

Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) boinks a small town Alabama sheriff's wife, she winds up dead along with a deputy, and Dolemite spends part of the movie avoiding the Sheriff.

keep a brother up keep a brother up
Whitey Tryin' to Keep a Brother UP!

Kenny Rogers as the Sheriff.

Dolemite escapes by jumping down a hill buck naked. Rudy was so impressed
with himself for doing that stunt, he included an "Instant Replay".

Meanwhile, Queen Bee (Lady Reed) is forced to close down her nightclub and bring her girls to work for her rival, the mobster Cavaletti (Herb Graham).

Tax Audits Aren't That Bad When There's a Happy Ending!

Dolemite makes his way to California to help Queen out. Wow, this sounds like they just used the script from "Dolemite" and made a few changes here and there to "keep it fresh".

I don't understand, what's a bra?

Of course Dolemite sleeps with the mobsters nympho wife, who has some very weird fantasies about toy boxes and large black men. 

Told you she had some freaky shit going on in her head!

Since you can't lie to the wang, she tells him where hubby is keeping a couple of Queen Bee's girls for collateral. Dolemite clobbers the guards at the hideout, in some fucked up fight scenes, I mean FUCKED up!, and rescues the girls from the torture chamber. They seem to be part of Dolemites "all girl army of kung-fu killers," as they kick some ass of their own.  But much like Charlie's Angels, that didn't keep them from getting their lollipop asses caught!

Witchiepoo just wasn't the same after her first taste of the crack cocaine!

Queen Bee and some of her girls are "entertaining" at Cavaletti's birthday party. They sneak some of Dolemite's men in, and the ass-kicking begins.

Mickey Dolenz is Circus Boy!

The cops show up, Cavaletti runs, and gets away from The Man, but winds up in THE MAN's clutches. Dolemite brings him back to the aforementioned torture chamber for a little genital chewing. By rats, I mean.

The cops show up one more time and Dolemite splits. The country sheriff shows up and shoots him dead, or so he thinks, and drives away happy. Dolemite sits up, takes off his bulletproof vest and laughs about being the "Human Tornadah!"

The Six-Million Dollar Brother!

End of freaky movie.

This is not a bad movie, this is a movie where everybody is having a good time making it, and doesn't give a shit about little things like plot, acting, flubbed lines, or any of the other piddling crap. Take it for what it is, a fun movie to watch, put your brain in neutral, and enjoy the magnificence which is Rudy Ray Moore. Be sure to have at least a 12 pack, a fifth of your favorite adult beverage, or at least a nickle bag of, um, oregano for full enjoymentification.

That's a big twinkie! (Yes, it's Ernie Hudson, Rudy Gave Him His "Big Break")


Last Updated on Wednesday, 21 September 2011 23:52